It’s Movember — which means somewhere out there, men’s mental health is getting a little extra attention. And honestly? About time.

Because if you look around — at friends, coworkers, gym buddies, or the guys who casually say, “I’m not really a big texter” — there’s a vibe: a lot of them seem kind of lonely. Not dramatic, sobbing-in-the-rain lonely, but quietly emotionally buffering lonely.

And from a girl’s perspective? It’s impossible not to notice.

It Goes Deeper Than Not Having Friends

Sure, some men really only hang out with that one childhood friend who still calls them by their high school nickname. But the loneliness conversation isn’t about weekend plans. It’s about how they were raised to handle emotions.

A lot of guys grew up hearing things like “don’t cry,” “figure it out,” and “be a man.” Basically, feelings = bad, silence = good. So now they’re adults, expected to open up and express themselves… with zero practice. Meanwhile, we were out here analyzing every social interaction since grade school like it was a group project worth 40% of our emotional GPA.

The Emotional Disconnect They Never Learned to Navigate

Girls are raised to communicate — sometimes excessively. We talk. We vent. We send long paragraphs about the vibe being off. We know the difference between “I’m fine :)” and “I’m fine.”

Men, on the other hand, often weren’t given that same emotional runway. So when conversations get personal, they kind of freeze. Not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know what the next step is. It’s like trying to play a game without ever seeing the rules.

Adult Friendships Hit Them Differently

Women can maintain a friendship through nothing but sporadic voice notes and a “miss you” text every few months. Men usually bond through activities: sports, gaming, grabbing a drink, whatever.

But when life gets busier and those built-in hangouts fade, their friendships often fade with them. And because talking just to talk isn’t really part of their culture, they don’t always know how to rebuild that closeness. Suddenly they look around and realize… they don’t really have anyone to open up to. And it’s not because they don’t want emotional connection — they just weren’t taught how to maintain it.

The Pressure to Be the Strong One Makes It Worse

Even today, a lot of guys feel like they’re supposed to be steady, calm, and unbothered. They think showing emotion means losing some kind of “strong man” badge. So they hold everything in and try to handle it alone. Meanwhile, girls are texting each other paragraphs about intrusive thoughts they had and feeling instantly better.

Why Women Notice It First

Women often become the emotional safe space in men’s lives — not just partners, but friends, coworkers, siblings, whoever. Men will open up to us in ways they haven’t with their friends, simply because we’re comfortable with emotional conversations.

We notice when someone is holding things in, when the vibes are off, when someone is lonely in ways they don’t know how to say out loud. And yes, it’s sweet, but also kind of sad — and also… not our job to fix.

Why It Matters During Men’s Mental Health Awareness

Movember is a good reminder that men’s mental health deserves attention. Loneliness doesn’t always look like being by yourself. Sometimes it looks like surface-level friendships, internalizing everything, or not knowing how to start a deeper conversation even when they want to.

Men deserve better tools, better emotional spaces, and friendships where they can be honest. Movember is a little nudge that connection shouldn’t be hard, or rare.

The male loneliness epidemic is real — but it doesn’t need to be tragic. It’s a sign that men deserve more emotional freedom, more community, and more spaces where they can show up as their actual selves.

And while it’s not on us to fix it, we can acknowledge it with honesty, kindness, and a little humor. Because at the end of the day, everyone benefits when emotional connection isn’t treated like a girls-only club.

If Movember sparks even one guy to check in on a friend or share how he’s really feeling, that’s already a win.

And girls, be kind, be aware, and keep your sarcasm handy — balance is key.

Love, Laura