Dating in your mid-20s comes with this funny mix of freedom and pressure. You’re meeting all these new people, trying to figure out what you actually want, and somewhere between the group chats and the well-meaning advice, it starts to feel like everyone has an opinion about your love life. And if you’ve ever gone on a date with someone who should be perfect on paper but… just isn’t? Then you know exactly where this is going.

Here’s the truth: you’re allowed to not feel a spark. You’re allowed to not be attracted to someone. You’re allowed to walk away from a person who checks all the logical boxes but none of the emotional ones.

We’re always told what the “ideal partner” looks like — stable job, great values, kind, funny, emotionally aware, maybe even tall if the universe is generous. And sometimes you actually meet that unicorn. They’re polite. They’re consistent. They’re everything you thought you were looking for. But then you’re sitting across from them at dinner and instead of butterflies, you feel… nothing. No connection, no excitement. Just a very polite conversation you could have with a stranger on the metro.

And that’s when the guilt starts.

“Maybe I’m being too picky.”

“Maybe I should give it another chance.”

“Maybe this is what it’s supposed to be like.”

But deep down you already know the answer.

But here’s the thing: attraction isn’t a checklist. Connection isn’t a spreadsheet. You can’t logic your way into liking someone. And you definitely don’t owe it to anyone — not your friends, not your family, and not the person you went on a date with — to force something that doesn’t feel right.

You’re allowed to have a type. You’re allowed to want more. You’re allowed to wait for someone who makes you feel excited to get ready for the date, someone you genuinely want to spend your time with, someone you don’t have to convince yourself to like.

Walking away from someone who has it all on paper doesn’t make you picky. It makes you honest. It means you trust your gut, even when other people don’t get it. And honestly, that confidence is way more attractive than settling ever will be.

So the next time someone makes you feel bad or if you’re giving yourself a hard time for not pursuing the “perfect” match, remember: you’re not rejecting a good person. You’re choosing the right person for you. And that’s what dating is supposed to be.

Keep following the feeling. The right connection won’t need to be justified. It’ll just click.

Love, Laura

PS: If we went on a date and you’re reading this, it’s all love. Sometimes it just doesn’t click.