Dating in your 20s is supposed to be fun—meeting new people, figuring out what (and who) you want, and maybe even falling in love. But somewhere along the way, modern dating turned into a confusing, exhausting game full of mixed signals, situationships, and people who would rather send flirty texts than make actual plans.

Between dating apps, social media, and a general fear of commitment, it feels like people are getting worse at dating, not better. Instead of straightforward relationships, we now have “talking stages” that drag on for months, and people who keep you on the back burner just in case they change their mind. And honestly? We deserve better.

If 2025 is going to be our year, it’s time to stop settling for lazy effort, half-baked connections, and people who don’t know what they want. Let’s leave these eight toxic dating trends behind and start demanding more—because dating should be exciting, not exhausting.

1. Breadcrumbing: When They Give You Just Enough to Stay Interested

Ever had someone who texts you just often enough to keep you intrigued but never actually makes plans? That’s breadcrumbing—when someone gives you tiny bits of attention (a late-night “miss you” text, a random fire emoji reaction to your Instagram story) but never follows through with real effort.

It keeps you in a weird state of almost—almost something, almost dating, almost important. But if someone is only putting in the bare minimum, they don’t deserve your energy.

What to do instead: If they’re inconsistent, don’t waste your time. A person who wants to see you will make it happen.

2. Benching: When You’re Just a Backup Plan

Benching is when someone keeps you in their life just in case they decide they want something serious later. They text just enough to keep you interested, make vague plans that never materialize, and might even resurface every few weeks with a “we should catch up soon!” message—only to disappear again.

Basically, you’re an option, not a priority. And the worst part? The second they find someone else they’re actually interested in, you’ll be left wondering what went wrong.

What to do instead: If someone isn’t giving you real effort, don’t wait around hoping they’ll suddenly wake up and realize your worth.

3. Situationships That Drag On Forever

Situationships—a gray area between casual and committed—can be fun if both people are on the same page. But when months (or years) go by with no clarity, it starts feeling like emotional limbo.

If you want something serious and they keep dodging “the talk” with vague excuses like “let’s just see where it goes,” they’re not confused—they’re just not willing to commit.

What to do instead: Be clear about what you want. If they can’t give you a real answer, they already did.

4. Slow Fading: The Coward’s Way Out

Instead of being upfront about losing interest, some people take the slow fade approach—gradually texting less and less until the connection just… dies. It’s ghosting, but in slow motion.

It’s frustrating because it leaves you confused. Did they lose interest? Are they just busy? Should you text again?

What to do instead: If someone is slowly fading, don’t chase them. Anyone who respects you will be honest about where they stand.

5. The Never-Ending ‘Talking Stage’ & Textationships

The talking stage should be a brief getting-to-know-you period, not an excuse to avoid defining a relationship. If you’ve been “talking” to someone for months with no actual dates or progress, they’re just stringing you along.

Similarly, a textationship is when all your interactions exist over text, but they never actually make plans to see you. The chemistry might feel strong over messages, but if they’re always “too busy” to meet up, they’re just using you for virtual attention.

What to do instead: If someone really wants to date you, they’ll make it clear. You don’t need a six-month trial period, and a real connection requires more than a good texting game.

6. Date-Stacking: When You’re Just Another Slot in Their Calendar

Date-stacking is when someone lines up multiple dates in a single day to “maximize efficiency.” While it makes sense in a busy world, it can also make dating feel like a numbers game rather than a real attempt to build a connection.

No one wants to be the 3 PM slot between a coffee date and a late-night drinks plan.

What to do instead: If someone is clearly treating dating like a checklist, don’t take it personally—but also don’t stick around. You deserve someone who’s excited to get to know you, not just someone looking to fill their schedule.

7. The Weekend-Only Relationship

This is when someone treats you like a part-time partner—texting all week with no real plans, then suddenly wanting to hang out on a Saturday night. If the only time they want to see you is when they’re bored or between plans, you’re not in a relationship—you’re a convenience.

What to do instead: If they’re only putting in effort when it’s easy for them, they don’t actually value your time. You deserve consistency, not just weekend attention.

8. Love Bombing: When It’s Too Much, Too Soon

Love bombing is when someone showers you with over-the-top affection, grand gestures, and constant attention—only to suddenly pull back once they have you hooked. At first, it feels amazing. They’re texting all day, planning future trips, calling you their soulmate after a week. But once the excitement fades, so does their effort.

The problem? It creates an emotional high that makes you ignore red flags. You might think you’ve finally found the one, only to realize they were never actually that invested—it was all about control and instant gratification.

What to do instead: A real connection builds over time. If someone is love-bombing you with too much, too soon, take a step back and see if their actions match their words consistently. Love shouldn’t be a rollercoaster.

This year, instead of stressing about what you don’t have, focus on what you won’t tolerate anymore. No more waiting around for half-hearted effort, no more accepting the bare minimum, and no more settling for someone who can’t give you what you want.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s easy to feel pressured by romance—especially when social media is filled with grand gestures, couple selfies, and over-the-top proposals. But being single (or in an undefined dating situation) isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s the perfect time to set new standards for yourself.

Valentine’s Day is about love—and that includes self-love. So whether you’re single, dating, or somewhere in between, use this time to celebrate yourself. Because the right person won’t breadcrumb, bench, or string you along. They’ll show up, put in the effort, and make it clear that they want you.

Love, Laura