Ah, first dates—the nerve-wracking blend of excitement and uncertainty that often feels like a scene straight out of a rom-com (or a cringe-worthy reality show). Whether you’ve been chatting with someone on a dating app or are finally grabbing drinks with that person you’ve been eyeing, first dates carry a lot of weight. It’s your chance to make a killer first impression, but that same pressure can make things feel awkward fast.

The truth is, no matter how much you plan or mentally rehearse, there are bound to be some awkward moments (it’s part of the fun, right?). You don’t need to nail every conversation topic or have the perfect setting—first dates are more about creating a relaxed vibe, being yourself, and seeing where things go.

If you’re worried about saying the wrong thing or navigating that fine line between charming and trying too hard, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there. To help ease your nerves and make the date feel more like a fun, natural experience instead of a high-stakes interview, here are some essential dos and don’ts for first-date success. Whether it leads to a second date or not, at least you’ll leave with a great story (and maybe even a new friend).

DO: Keep It Light and Fun

It’s your first time hanging out, so keep the vibe chill! Whether it’s a coffee shop, a casual dinner, or an outdoor activity like mini-golf, picking a place with a relaxed atmosphere is key. This gives you both the chance to be yourselves, without too much pressure. Plus, doing something interactive takes the spotlight off constant conversation and eases any first-date jitters.

DON’T: Go for Anything Over-the-Top

Avoid extravagant locations or plans. A fancy 10-course meal at the city’s hottest restaurant might seem like a way to impress, but it can feel overwhelming, especially if the conversation stalls. Over-the-top settings can make things awkward, putting unnecessary pressure on both of you. Save the big gestures for future dates once you know each other better!

DO: Be Present and Attentive

There’s nothing more attractive than someone who’s engaged and paying attention. Ask questions, listen actively, and show genuine interest. The more you listen, the more you’ll learn about each other, and you’ll also avoid the awkward trap of oversharing too early on.

DON’T: Talk About Your Ex (Seriously, Just Don’t)

This one is a classic first-date mistake. Rehashing details about past relationships, especially ones that ended badly, can make the vibe heavy and awkward. It’s okay to mention that you’re single now (obviously), but going into detail about your ex can make your date wonder if you’re really over them. Keep the conversation forward-focused, fun, and light!

DO: Be Yourself

It’s so tempting to present a super-polished version of yourself on a first date, but let’s be real—if things go well, the real you will eventually show. Embrace your quirks and sense of humor, and don’t be afraid to let your personality shine. Authenticity is attractive!

DON’T: Turn It Into an Interview

While you want to get to know your date, you’re not conducting a job interview. Avoid rattling off questions like you’re working through a checklist. Let the conversation evolve naturally rather than just ticking boxes like “Where do you work?” “Do you have pets?” “What’s your five-year plan?” Keep things spontaneous!

DO: Pay Attention to Body Language

Sometimes, it’s not what you say, but how you say it—or even what you don’t say. Maintain eye contact, smile, and be conscious of how your body is positioned. Leaning in shows interest, and subtle touches (when appropriate) can create connection.

DON’T: Be Glued to Your Phone

Nothing kills a first date faster than someone who’s constantly checking their phone. It sends the message that you’re not fully invested in the moment. Turn off notifications or keep your phone in your bag, so you can give your full attention to your date.

DO: End on a Good Note

If the date went well, let your date know you’d like to see them again. Keep the goodbye light and positive, whether it’s a handshake, hug, or even a kiss. Ending things with enthusiasm makes it clear that you’re interested, but also leaves room for the anticipation of a second date.

DON’T: Overthink the Follow-Up

After the date, don’t overanalyze or stress about what to say next. If you’re interested, just shoot them a text thanking them for the time and suggesting you’d like to do it again. Keep it simple, and let things unfold naturally!

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but they’re also an exciting opportunity to meet someone new and see where things go. Keep these dos and don’ts in mind to make the experience enjoyable for both of you. At the end of the day, just be yourself and have fun. Although these tips are written from a female gaze perspective, they go both ways! Whether you’re the one planning the date or along for the ride, both parties can use these tips to make sure things stay relaxed, fun, and memorable.

Worst case scenario, you’ll leave with a good story—and maybe even plans for a second date!

Love, Laura