Dating in your 20s can be exhilarating and exhausting. With dating apps, social media, and an ever-expanding pool of potential partners, it feels like the possibilities are endless—but so are the awkward encounters, mismatches, and uncomfortable situations. You might go on one date and realize the chemistry just isn’t there. Maybe the person is a little too forward, or perhaps you’re just not feeling it. In these moments, it’s easy to feel pressured to explain yourself, to let them down gently, or to offer some kind of closure. But here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone anything.

One date, one conversation, or even a few weeks of texting does not constitute a relationship. If the connection doesn’t feel right, or if someone makes you uncomfortable, it’s perfectly okay to walk away without a drawn-out explanation. We’ve all been there—someone doesn’t vibe with you, or worse, they cross a boundary, and suddenly, you’re left feeling drained and obligated to have “the talk.” But why should you? In your 20s, you’re learning about yourself, setting boundaries, and navigating a sea of potential relationships. Ghosting, in the right context, can be a tool of self-preservation and a way to protect your energy.

While ghosting often gets a bad rap, especially in dating, it’s important to understand that not every connection needs closure, and sometimes, the healthiest choice for you is simply to disappear. Here’s why ghosting is okay—and sometimes, even necessary.

You Come First

In dating, especially in your 20s, you’ll encounter all sorts of people. Some will respect your boundaries, and others won’t. When someone doesn’t, or when a situation feels toxic, ghosting can be a form of self-preservation. You have every right to protect your mental health and energy. If someone is draining you emotionally or crossing lines, you don’t owe them your time or an explanation. Sometimes the best move is simply to cut ties and focus on yourself.

One Date Isn’t a Relationship

It’s easy to feel like you need to offer closure or justify why you’re no longer interested, but here’s a reminder: one date, or even a few, does not make a relationship. If there’s no connection, or you’re simply not interested, it’s okay to walk away without feeling guilty. You don’t owe anyone a reason, especially if the interaction was brief. In dating, it’s normal to meet people, realize things won’t work, and move on.

Not Everyone Deserves a Goodbye

Let’s face it: not everyone is entitled to your time or an explanation. In a world where emotional labor is constantly expected, it’s important to prioritize yourself. If someone has disrespected you, ignored your boundaries, or made you feel uncomfortable, ghosting can be a way to protect your peace. You are under no obligation to explain yourself to someone who doesn’t respect you in the first place.

Avoiding Conflict is Sometimes the Healthier Choice

Confrontation isn’t for everyone, and not every situation calls for a deep conversation. If you know that an explanation will only lead to more emotional labor, stress, or unnecessary drama, ghosting can be the healthier choice. You don’t owe it to anyone to stay in uncomfortable or draining situations.

Not All Connections Require Closure

In today’s fast-paced dating culture, not every connection warrants a heartfelt goodbye. Some interactions fizzle out naturally, and ghosting is just part of that process. If you’ve only met someone briefly, or the spark just isn’t there, it’s perfectly okay to let things go without a formal explanation. Sometimes, silence is a way of acknowledging that the connection wasn’t meant to be—and that’s okay.

Ghosting isn’t always the cold, heartless act it’s often made out to be. In many cases, it’s a way to set boundaries, protect your mental health, or avoid unnecessary conflict. While it’s important to be mindful and respectful in how we treat others, it’s also important to recognize when it’s time to step back for our own sake. Ghosting may not always feel ideal, but sometimes it’s the most effective way to let go and move forward, especially when the situation calls for self-preservation over explanation.

Love, Laura